I'm so confused with my relationship and life!

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It was comforting to read how your burrito experience come along out of nowhere and gave me renewed hope that my own moment of clarity will come. But what happiness will that bring you? This becomes your mantra when the lost and confused sort of anxiety is nipping at your heels.

With my 7-year boyfriend I enjoyed a good sexual relationship for about the first year, during this time I became very close friends with a gay girl, things came close to happening but nothing ever did. I've only been dating my boyfriend for about a month now. Give yourself the respect and caring you deserve.

Broke Up With My Boyfriend Because I Was Confused About My Feelings?

I will go ahead and start off with a brief description of my past to also aid you in helping me out. As a young kid and up through elementary school I was quite shy. Although this would seem usual for younger kids to me it just seemed to, well, get in the way of making friends or just being a kid in general. From high-school and up until I was turned 20 things became worse to say the least. My self-esteem was rock bottom and self-hate just seemed to radiate from me. The ability to be able to socially interact and make friends seemed to worsen and the few I had would at times become abusive physically and mentally, I seemed to just serve as an example to others. This only further cut deeper into the depression, alienation and antisocial behaviors that I seemed to have. This increased to the point of self-mutilation and lots of thoughts of suicide. This of course was in my late teens and was unsure at the time about how to handle depression and that is all I knew. Eventually my parents caught on and I was taken to a doctor and prescribed anti-depressant medication but eventually stopped taking them. Reaching 20 years old I just seemed to become so disconnected and out of sync with reality that it started why am i confused about my feelings cause real problems with family and what friends I had. Things eventually clicked in my mind and I had an extreme desire to change myself physically and mentally. Going out, going to the gym, starting college, trying to make friends…etc. While I have dramatically changed from those three years ago when I began. I still feel mentally tortured day to day and at times it gets so extreme I cry myself to. I do a lot of online reading and am taking psychology classes in college in hopes of just being able to understand these things. Although I am unsure if I am making myself believe I have these problems or if I really need to seek help. I easily lose interest in activities and other things that I have enjoyed in the past. Sadness is quite common and am easily pushed emotionally in one way or another. Crying episodes seem to happen quite often as I feel so very lonely, worthless and angered at myself for my failures in the past. Which sometimes become so extreme that I cry myself to sleep some nights. I also at times find it hard to concentrate, especially when I am feeling really down. There is also times that I just do not want to talk to anyone or go anywhere at all, which I believe I am in right now. For an example, today was my birthday and I turned 23. I just feel empty and can find no happiness or joy in life. Although depression is the main issue I believe other factors might as well contribute. While I why am i confused about my feelings made an effort to help myself I still have a rather hard time socializing. I often at times get anxious and stressed in social situations. I have always found it hard why am i confused about my feelings socially connect with anyone at all or finding something in common or even being able to indulge in small talk. After reading around it seems that there is a chance I have social- and if I remember correctly can attribute to depression. Lastly I have led myself to believe there is a chance that I might be. The reason for this being is that it seems that I have large mood swings every month or two. This past November and December I slipped into bad depression and continued to stay depressed up through the beginning of January. Then my mood took a swing the other way and it was very uplifting as for once as I actually felt happy and things were going the right way. Although the end of February I believe I began a decline again and as of today I have began hitting a low point again it seems. I am unsure of any of this as things seem so scrambled most of the time. But I am sure of one thing and that is that I want this mental anguish to end because it is really taking a toll on me. I also suppose I should put forward the fact that I do now and have in the past drank alcohol, smoked marijuana and took painkillers to just get away from it all. I find myself saying this a lot…but I just want to be normal for once. These problems are driving me out of my mind and I just want it to stop. I am unsure where to go, who to turn to or what to do. But I have got to start making steps I believe or I am going to lose control. So for whoever attempts to tackle this, thank you. Thank you very much for at least trying to help me make sense of it all. Your letter is an excellent reflection of your state of mind. You are spending hours trying to figure out what is wrong with you and tracking the history of your feelings. You are only going around and around and around and not finding a way out — which only makes you feel worse. Give yourself the respect and caring you deserve. Most colleges have a mental health center where you can at least get an evaluation and a referral. A therapist will know how to elicit information from you that will help you both understand you. Many mental health centers and private therapists have a sliding fee scale to make affordable. Your college may have clergy who provide pastoral counseling for free. You can also make a start by talking online with a counselor at the Boys and Girls Town National Hotline at 800-448-3000. If you could have stopped the spin on your own, a smart guy like you would have done so long ago. I hope you will now reach out to get the help you need.

That might be an understatement. Confusion and distortion is often used by evil to throw us off balance… to make us second guess our faith and feel insecure. I could barely sleep at the time so I would just get out of bed at around 5:00am each day and go for a walk. Go propose a break and sort your feelings out then see what you want. I don't really miss him when apart and sometimes don't even look forward to seeing him. After spending time with a buddy that really helped me out of my rut I am back to my positive relaxed mindset. I have dated this guy for over a year now and we had plans to get married in June of 2016. I once felt this depression in my regular job and, like you, I had put pressure on myself, wondering what I was doing, what was going to happen to me, or why I felt that way. And the only way to be confident in ourselves is to make sure we know exactly what kind of person we want to be and to then do whatever it takes to ensure we act and behave accordingly. While I have made an effort to help myself I still have a rather hard time socializing. But, I am curious of what you actually do all day?